http://jlajax.com/tggi/html/ Thu, 17 May 2012 16:59:01 -0500 FeedCreator 1.8.0-nukeFEED (http://nukeSEO.com) http://jlajax.com/tggi/html/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=476#476 global visas feedback employs qualified solicitors and ex-immigration officers, guaranteeing our rate of success continues to be the highest in the industry.]]> no_email@example.com (Celina777) http://jlajax.com/tggi/html/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=476#476 http://jlajax.com/tggi/html/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=475#475 Global Visas Review has the most traffic, & it is supposedly one of the largest, if not THE largest visa immigration services in the world. I researched reviews online, & only found a few negative comments and positive comments.]]> no_email@example.com (shamin) http://jlajax.com/tggi/html/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=475#475 http://jlajax.com/tggi/html/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=474#474
1. No Tenure / No Pension.
A Congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they are out of office.

2. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security.
All funds in the Congressional retirement fund immediately move to the Social Security system. All future funds flow into the Social Security system, and Congress participates with the American people. It may not be used for any other purpose.

3. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans do.

4. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

5. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people.

6. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American people.

7. All contracts with past and present Congressmen are void effective 1/1/12.
The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen. Congressmen made all these contracts for themselves. Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their term(s), then go home and back to work.

If each person contacts a minimum of twenty people then it will only take three days for most people (in the U.S. ) to receive the message. Maybe it is time.

THIS IS HOW YOU FIX CONGRESS!

If you agree with the above, pass it on.
This is something I will fight for and I hope you all read it all the way through. You will be glad you did.

The 26th amendment (granting the right to vote for 18 year-olds) took only 3 months & 8 days to be ratified! Why? Simple - The people demanded it! That was in 1971 - before computers, before e-mail, before cell phones, etc.

Of the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took 1 year or less to become the law of the land...all because of public pressure.]]> no_email@example.com (Website_Design) http://jlajax.com/tggi/html/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=474#474 http://jlajax.com/tggi/html/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=465#465
If you remember the Abbot and Costello skit of "Who's on First" you will
love this one. For all of us who are occasionally befuddled by computers
and all of the newer electronics this is hilarious...read it all the
way.

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello , and too old
to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of
us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,
'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO : Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.

ABBOTT : Mac?

COSTELLO : No, the name's Lou .

ABBOTT : Your computer?

COSTELLO : I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT : Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou .

ABBOTT : What about Windows?

COSTELLO : Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT : Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO : I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT : Wallpaper.

COSTELLO : Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT : Software for Windows?

COSTELLO : No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT : Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT : I just did.

COSTELLO : You just did what?

ABBOTT : Recommend something.

COSTELLO : You recommended something ?

ABBOTT : Yes.

COSTELLO : For my office?

ABBOTT : Yes.

COSTELLO : OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT : Office.

COSTELLO : Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT : I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO : I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm
sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT : Word.

COSTELLO : What word?

ABBOTT : Word in Office.

COSTELLO : The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT : The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO : Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT : The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO : I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some
straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I
can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO : That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT : Money.

COSTELLO : I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT : It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO : What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT : Money.

COSTELLO : Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT : Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO : I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT : One copy.

COSTELLO : Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT : Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO : They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT : Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT : Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO : How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT : Click on 'START'.............]]> no_email@example.com (jlajax) http://jlajax.com/tggi/html/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=465#465 http://jlajax.com/tggi/html/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=429#429
Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1 . Liberals, and
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. Those became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud or Miller. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:

It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to tick them off.

And there you have it.

Let your next action reveal your true self .]]> no_email@example.com (jlajax) http://jlajax.com/tggi/html/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=429#429 http://jlajax.com/tggi/html/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=425#425
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

THE END

THE OBAMA VERSION

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving.

The MSNBC NEWS shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.

The American press informs people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

The Democratic Party, Greenpeace, PETA and The Grasshopper Housing Commission of Australia demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house.

The MSNBC NEWS, interrupting a cultural festival special from St Kilda with breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing 'We Shall Overcome'.

Joe Biden rants in an interview with Anderson Cooper that the squirrel got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his 'fair share' and increases the charge for squirrels to enter Washington DC city center.

In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders, for the work he was doing on his home, and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.

The grasshopper is provided with a Housing Commission house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile. The squirrel's food is seized and re-distributed to the more needy members of society - in this case the grasshopper.

Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home.

The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to America as they had to share their country of origin with mice.

On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Americas' apparent love of dogs.

The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempted bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody.

Initial moves to make then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice.

The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from people's credit cards.

A 60 Minutes special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's food, though spring is still months away, while the Housing Commission house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it. He is shown to be taking drugs.

Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshopper's drug 'Illness'.

The cats seek recompense in the Australian courts for their treatment since arrival in America.

The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him.

Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.

A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost $10 million and state the obvious, is set up.

Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers.

Legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased.

The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching America 's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.

The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose.

The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison.

They call for the resignation of a minister.

The cats are paid $1 million each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in America ...

The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order, and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government funds.

THE END]]> no_email@example.com (jlajax) http://jlajax.com/tggi/html/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=425#425 http://jlajax.com/tggi/html/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=424#424
WHEN YOU'RE OLD

AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.


George Phillips , an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was g oing up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"

He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.

Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your do ors and an officer will be along when one is available."

George said, "Okay."

He hung up the phone and coun ted to 30.

Then he phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot them." and he hung up.

Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

0D


(True Story) I LOVE IT!

Don't mess with old people]]> no_email@example.com (jlajax) http://jlajax.com/tggi/html/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=424#424 http://jlajax.com/tggi/html/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=422#422
Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian Family."

No one moved.

The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression."

Again all was quiet.

Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared.]]> no_email@example.com (jlajax) http://jlajax.com/tggi/html/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=422#422 http://jlajax.com/tggi/html/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=418#418 it with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it was, as I filled it
lovingly with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds
taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and
easily accessible food.

But then the birds started building nests in the boards
of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.

Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile,
the chairs, the table .. everywhere!

Then some of the birds turned mean. They would
dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had
fed them out of my own pocket.

And others birds were boisterous and loud. They
sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at
all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it
when it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch
anymore. So I took down the bird feeder and in three days
the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down
the many nests they had built all over the patio.

Soon, the back yard was like it used to be .... quiet, serene....
and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.

Now let's see.
Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing,
free medical care and free education, and allows anyone
born here to be an automatic citizen.

Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly
our taxes went up to pay for free ser vices; small apartments
are housing 5 families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen
by an emergency room doctor; your child's second grade class is
behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak
English.

Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to
'press one ' to hear my bank talk to me in English, and
people waving flags other than our flag are
squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding
more rights and free liberties.

Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the government
to take down the bird feeder.

If you agree, pass it on; if not, continue cleaning up the poop.]]> no_email@example.com (jlajax) http://jlajax.com/tggi/html/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=418#418 http://jlajax.com/tggi/html/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=416#416
This free website sitemap creator will generate a site map for you up to 500 pages. Since most of you do not have 500 visible pages I think this demonstration will help clarify how this CMS system works to your advantage.

Go to:

http://www.xml-sitemaps.com/

Enter your website front end address:

Code:

www.yourdomain.com

Allow the program to run, it will take a few minutes.

Once the program completes look at the html version of your site map and note that in many instances it did not complete because you have more than 500 indexable pages. From the casual users point of view it appears to be a much lower number of pages however from the robots who index the web for the search engines the number is much higher. All this does if give your site indexing power unavailable to your competition unless they are using a similar system. Most of your competition is not using a similar system they only have what you are using for a front end. Oh and I have a sitemap installed in each of your sites that is not visible to the casual user but is readable by the robots that do the indexing. This is a different sitemap than the one you see listed in your portal menu.

Neat huh?]]> no_email@example.com (jlajax) http://jlajax.com/tggi/html/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=416#416